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Working Mom's Guilt

Our Local Mom Reveals The Struggle of Balancing Career and Kids

By Alison DeVriendt, Project Manager at Brewer Direct September 15, 2011

I’m at work trying to finish a project on deadline, and I’m sidetracked wondering how my first grader is faring on her very first day of school. Later that evening, during “family time” I do a quick check of my email to make sure the work project didn’t hit any snags before I can settle in and read to my preschooler. If these scenarios sound familiar, you are likely struggling with the same challenges as other moms who work outside of the home.

Being a mom and a working woman doesn’t always mesh well. I work outside of the home, not only for financial reasons, but – almost more importantly – as a way to hold on to part of my identity outside of being my children’s mother. After a full day at work, it’s tough to face yet another pile of papers and projects that are demanding instant attention, especially when dinners must be made, clothes must be washed and countless toys are waiting to be picked up. It is nice to have time out of the house – “off the mom clock,” so to speak, but because I am at work, I have to spend my time with my children running errands and trying to make a game out of grocery shopping.

Although I battle against “working mom’s guilt,” it seems to nip at my heels like an unruly pet. I feel it each time I just can’t commit to one more task. It eats at me when my kids ask me to play a game or read a story and I say no in favor of five minutes of peace.

I just can’t seem to shake the guilt. I’ve even scoured the Internet in search of solutions. The main message seems to be: Do your best, no one is perfect and learn to say no — all tough for a perfectionist with people-pleasing tendencies.

I will keep trying to strike that difficult balance between work and home life and do the best I can at both. Life is always about give and take and we all sacrifice a part of ourselves to make some aspect of life complete. Somehow, working moms do the best we can and juggle the stresses of working and raising a family. I’m pretty confident in saying that these issues aren’t strictly concerns to working mothers. I am also confident that working moms know that stay-at-home-moms are hard at work, too. I get a paycheck from my job. That’s nice, but it doesn’t compare to the payment I get from being a mom. My payment there comes in the form of an “I love you” at the most random moment.

The struggles and dilemmas for a career woman are ever present and we have to deal with them day in and out. But it is through challenges and some struggles that life becomes more meaningful and exciting, so I see no reason in shying away from them.

It's hard to not get burnt out. But that's probably true for moms that don't work outside of the home, too. I think the real question everyone is trying to answer is not which is harder, but did I make the right decision? I think a lot of us moms worry that maybe we didn’t, but we have to trust that we are doing the right thing for our families.